December was a full month by any standard, and I was blessed per usual with opportunities to write, and play, and teach, and travel, and pontificate, and see family and friends, and occasionally even sit down or sleep. While I am truly lucky and tend to deflect credit, it’s worth noting that I’m well aware that I work very hard to create the conditions to be that lucky, which leads to my main thought for the month.

For anyone who doesn’t know, over 10 years ago I dealt with a major depressive episode to the point that I self-hospitalized and ended up delaying my move to Chicago and the start to my graduate studies. A lot of that month or so of recovery was spent at my parents house in bed in my childhood room in a dissociative state fighting to keep the conscious part of my mind that knew things could get better in charge. “Month or so of recovery” also implies a finite stop point, which for me at least is an inadequate description; I’m doing well and have been for years at this point, but really that just involves continuing to do the things that have set me up for success and coping with the rest as it happens.

A couple nights ago, I woke up in the same bed and room and my mind started going to all the various things I’m working on and the vast responsibilities I’ve been entrusted with. Before I could really even wake up or let that turn into negative stress, my wife snuggled up against me and put her arm around me, and taking Goomba’s advice it was comfy so I went back to sleep.

Nothing was truly different in the world, but everything in my world is truly different. It can always be worse, but it can always get better. Whoever needs to hear it; it’s a lot of work, but an opportunity to do the work is no small thing.

May your masks smell pleasant and your packages arrive without incident,

Ryan